To Turn Women Down
HER: Andy says I am pretty. Ben says I am ugly. What do you think of me?
HIM: A bit of both. I think you are pretty ugly.
HER: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
HIM: Don’t you ever want to improve?
HER: I think the poorest people are the happiest people.
HIM: Then marry me and we will be the happiest couple.
HER: If we become engaged will you give me a ring?
HIM: Sure, what is your phone number?
HER: One kiss and I will be yours forever.
HIM: Thanks for the warning.
HER: Say you love me. Say you love me.
HIM: You love me.
HER: What do you like most about me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
HIM: I like your sense of humour.
HER: What is your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?
HIM: Golfing with friends, my dear.
HER: What? At two in the morning?
HIM: Yes. We used night clubs.
HER: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?
HIM: When there is a problem no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
HER: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
HER: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
HIM: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”
HIM: You remind me of the sea.
HER: Because I am exciting, romantic, and wild?
HIM: No, because you make me sick.
HER: You sure you love me and no one else?
HIM: Dead sure. I checked the whole list again yesterday.
HER: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HIM: You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
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