To Turn Men Down
HIM: Can I buy you a drink?
HER: Actually, I would rather have the money.
HIM: Can I have your name?
HER: Why? Don’t you already have one?
HIM: Did we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
HER: Must be once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HER: Do you want dinner?
HIM: Sure. What are my choices?
HER: Yes and no.
HIM: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
HER: Okay, get out.
HIM: Have I seen you some in place before?
HER: Yes. That is why I do not go there anymore.
HIM: Hey baby, what is your sign?
HER: Do not enter.
HIM: How did you get to be so beautiful?
HER: I must have been given your share.
HIM: I am a photographer. I have been looking for a face like yours.
HER: I am a plastic surgeon. I have been looking for a face like yours.
HIM: I love you and I could die for you.
HER: How soon?
HIM: I think I could make you very happy.
HER: Why? Are you leaving?
HIM: I would go to the end of the world for you.
HER: Yes, but how long would you stay there?
HIM: If I could see you naked, I would die happy.
HER: If I saw you naked, I would die laughing.
HIM: Is this seat empty?
HER: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HIM: May I hold your hand?
HER: No thanks, it is not heavy.
HIM: Shall we go watch a movie?
HER: I have already seen it.
HIM: What do you do for a living?
HER: I am a female impersonator.
HIM: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
HER: Nothing. I cannot talk and laugh at the same time.
HER: When we get married, I want to share all your troubles, worries, and lighten your burden.
HIM: That is very kind of you, but I do not have any troubles or worries.
HER: Well, that is because we are not married yet.
HIM: Where are you from?
HER: USA.
HIM: Are you here on vacation?
HER: No, I am here for lunch.
HIM: What? All the way from the United States of America?
HER: No. Upper Serangoon Avenue.
HIM: Where have you been all your life?
HER: Hiding from you.
HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: In your wildest dreams.
HIM: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
HER: Sorry, I am having a headache this weekend.
HIM: You sure I am the first man you are sleeping with?
HER: Of course, I stayed awake with all the others.
HIM: Your body is like a temple.
HER: Sorry, there are no services today.
HIM: Your face must have turned a few heads.
HER: Your face must have turned a few stomachs.
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