Q: How do you know that frogs are hokkien?
A: It is because when it is cold, they go ‘kwah, kwah, kwah’.
Q: How do hokkien fish laugh?
A: Hee hee hee. (hokkien for fish)
Q: How do hokkien prawns laugh?
A: Hae hae hae. (hokkien for prawns)
Q: What is the difference between ang moh and hokkien fairy tales?
A: Ang moh fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’, and hokkien fairy tales begin with ‘Lim Peh ka li kong’.
Q: Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the USA?
A: Because people started licking the wrong side.
ANDY: My wife is an angel.
JOHN: You are fortunate, mine is still alive.
ANDY: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
JOHN: Depends if I can find the phone or not.
ANDY: How should I convey the news to my father that I have failed my examinations?
JOHN: Just send him a telegram - Results declared, past year's performance repeated.
JOHN: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?
MARY: I did once. The guy forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
DAD: Let me see your report card.
SON: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
SON: Have you ever been to Egypt?
DAD: No. Why do you ask that?
SON: Well, where did you get mummy from?
SON: Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
MUM: Well, you have done the right thing.
SON: I was sitting on daddy's lap.
CUSTOMER: If I post this letter today, will it get to Johor tomorrow?
POST MASTER: Well it might.
CUSTOMER: I bet you it would not.
POST MASTER: Why not?
CUSTOMER: It is addressed to Penang.
DOCTOR: You look exhausted and terribly weak. Are you having your meals three times a day?
PATIENT: I thought you said three males a day.
PATIENT: What are the chances of my recovering?
PATIENT: What are the chances of my recovering?
DOCTOR: 100%. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die from the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I have treated. The others all died.
INTERVIEWER: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?
MILLIONAIRE: I owe everything to my wife.
INTERVIEWER: Wow, she must be a great woman. What were you before you married her?
MILLIONAIRE: A billionaire.
THIEF 1: The police is here. Let’s jump out of the window.
THIEF 2: This is the 13th floor you know?
THIEF 1: Hurry, there is no time for superstitions.
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