Funny Definitions
Atom Bomb – The invention to end all other inventions.
Boss – A person who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Classic – The books which people praise but do not read.
Committee – Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise – The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he or she got the biggest piece.
Conference – The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room – A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees.
Criminal – A person no different from the rest except that he got caught.
Dictionary – A place where success comes before work.
Divorce – The future tense of marriage.
Doctor – A person who kills your ills by pills and kills you by bills.
Etc. – A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience – The name men give to their mistakes.
Father – A banker provided by nature.
Lecture – The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Life Insurance – A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.
Marriage – The agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Nurse – A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
Office – A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Philosopher – A person who torments himself during life to be spoken of when dead.
Politician – A person who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
School – A place where the parents pay and the child plays.
Smile – A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears – The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Yawn – The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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