School Jokes
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of ‘coincidence’?
STUDENT: My father and mother got married on the same day and at the same time.
TEACHER: Form a sentence using the word ‘beans’.
STUDENT: We are all human beans.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree but also admitted doing it. Do you know why his father did not punish him?
STUDENT: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: If I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
STUDENT: Brotherly love.
TEACHER: Name one important thing we have today that we did not have ten years ago.
STUDENT: Me.
TEACHER: Tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
STUDENT: No, I do not have to because my mother is a good cook.
TEACHER: Tell me something you know about the subject ‘history’.
STUDENT: My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is blue and one is red.
STUDENT: Yes it is strange. I have got another pair just like that at home.
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
STUDENT: A teacher.
TEACHER: Why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
STUDENT: That is because you told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Why do you always get so dirty?
STUDENT: Well, I am a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Your composition on ‘My Dog’ is the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
STUDENT: No, it is the same dog.
TEACHER: Correct the sentence, ‘A bull and a cow is grazing in the field’.
STUDENT: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
TEACHER: Why?
STUDENT: Ladies first.
TEACHER: Give me a sentence starting with ‘I’.
STUDENT: I is ...
TEACHER: No. Always say ‘I am’.
STUDENT: I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
TEACHER: How do you spell ‘crocodile’?
STUDENT: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER: No, that is wrong.
STUDENT: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: How old is your father?
STUDENT: As old as me.
TEACHER: How can that be?
STUDENT: He only became a father when I was born.
TEACHER: John, go to the map and find America.
JOHN: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: John.
TEACHER: John, you talk a lot.
JOHN: It is a family tradition.
TEACHER: What do you mean?
JOHN: My grandpa was a street hawker and my father is a teacher.
TEACHER: What about your mother?
JOHN: She is a woman.
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
STUDENT: HIJKLMNO.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
STUDENT: You said it is H to O.
TEACHER: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
STUDENT: The moon.
TEACHER: Why?
STUDENT: The moon gives us light at night when we need it, but the sun gives us light only in the day when we do not need it.
|
